So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
