I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I cockslap morals
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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