all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize