Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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