His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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