new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Drake has all the answers
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
