Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
So. Much. Porn.
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