You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
