I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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