Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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