hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm sobbing to NWA
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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