I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
