what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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