so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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