You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize