put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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