I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Girls should come with a carfax report
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
50% drunk capacity currently
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize