Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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