dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
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