areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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