Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
why do cheetos always look like penises
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
