He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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