i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
