so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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