I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
