the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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