i think my tv is drunk
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
