please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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