The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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