life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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