My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
