Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
whose parrot is this?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
