Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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