i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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