I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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