I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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