how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
