remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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