id be glad to
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize