2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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