I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
