All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
