You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
