i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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