i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
