she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize