it hurts more in the daytime
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
