drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
MIDGETS
????
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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