He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
