She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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