She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
