I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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