If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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