the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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