Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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