I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
