we're blogging at a bar
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
