I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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