Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
