Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
