These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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