put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
