i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
