i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think I sprained my soul last night
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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