worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
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