i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
And then he peed in my hair
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