Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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