Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
