It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
