Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My Sexting was not on an AP level
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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