i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
