I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
