He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
