I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
