If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
