Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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